Free Advertising Tips

From my local Craigslist:

VIOLINIST ; plays a 1890 violin with beautiful inlaid back for your wedding or event.

She will play your engagement, proposal on the Beach, Wedding, Anniversary or Birthday Party.
She will play your favorite tunes.
She touches everyone’s heart.
Absolutely Beautiful sounding Violin from Europe, one of a kind!
www.wedddingviolinisttiara.com

Here’s the video linked in the ad:

I’m no marketing specialist, but off the top of my head, I see a few things in this ad that could be improved upon:

• Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that it’s very important to spell your website’s name correctly.
• No matter how beautiful your violin’s inlay might be, photographing it in your landscaping kind of makes it look like something you found in your garden.
• There’s a place known as “indoors”. Many symphony orchestras find playing indoors enhances the sound of the instruments, especially when recording. If you absolutely must record yourself playing outdoors, you might want to make sure your cameraman has a windscreen for his mic so it doesn’t sound like you’re doing a duet with 30mph winds.
• If you’re going to advertise your services offering an “Absolutely Beautiful sounding Violin”, you might want to hire someone who is capable of playing said violin in an absolutely beautiful manner.

I’ll confess to being a philistine; pretty much everything I know about classical music comes from watching old Warner Brothers cartoons. My lack of couth, however, does not prevent me from recognizing some mildly cringe-inducing notes in the piece she’s playing (which, if my cartoon-watching skills have truly paid off, is a Bach composition).

Do I have a right to criticize her? Yes, absolutely. Am I out of line in my criticisms? Perhaps. I’ll be the first to admit that my musical skills are lacking. If you don’t believe me, here’s proof:

Which is why I don’t go around offering to class up people’s weddings.