It doesn’t have to be Christian to suck (but it helps)

This video has been making the rounds as of late: a group of Youth Pastors at some Jesus Camp-type gathering warning about the evils of “front hugging”. Seriously.

It would be too easy to take the low road and say “how typically Christian”; sure, the lyrics are fucked-up in a way that only Christians could manage, but the lameness of it all definitely has its counterparts in the secular world.

Case in point: “Swangn”.

Believe it or not, this video is actually controversial. There’s no controversy about how much it sucks: this is rap music meant for deaf people, it sucks so badly. In the tiny town of Taft, Texas (pop. 3,396), “Swangn” caused quite a stir.

To read the local media’s coverage of the Swangn controversy, you’d think a snuff film had been made in Taft. Instead of having conniptions over some wannabe gangstas using the word “fuck” in a music video, the local papers should have just mocked these jokers for putting out such a wack song.

THIS is an appopriate response to the video:

Two things the above commentator neglected to mention:

1) It’s impossible to “roll through that Southside” in Taft, Texas. It’s possible to maintain a stationary position on the Southside, but once you move an inch or two, you’re on the other side of town.

2) If the girl rapper wants to brag about her clothes, she should have gone shopping somewhere other than Walmart. As the old joke goes, “somewhere an El Camino is missing its seat covers”.